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A Q&A with The Potty Queen

Lisa Sherrington-Boyd, AKA Principal Lisa, AKA The Potty Queen shares her advice on Eggs & Soldiers’ parents real-life toilet troubles.

When will they be ready? What am I doing wrong? How do we tackle number twos? The process of getting your toddler out of nappies and on to the toilet can throw up a long list of hurdles and frustrations – for you and them. 

Lisa has been working with young children for 30 years, and has turned her invaluable insight into potty training into a support service for families looking for tips, tweaks and a friendly ear as they move towards this important milestone.

“Quite simply, my goal is to empower you to empower your child,” she explains. “Many parents find themselves needing reassurance around potty training and by providing them with the tools and the confidence they need, they too can become potty royalty!”

We asked the Eggs & Soldiers Community for your real-life toilet traumas. Here’s what The Potty Queen had to say!

A: Over the years I have learnt that potty training readiness can be supported by helping your child to develop some key skills, which act as a foundation, and a strong, confident base to launch from. I work with families before we actually start to potty train to make sure their child is regularly displaying these skills. I see these skills as similar to helping your child to crawl and walk, and practicing each day. However, this relies upon your child having a bladder and bowel mature enough to hold urine for example for approximately 45 minutes, this usually begins at around 18-20 months. I’ve listed some questions to tick off below, which should help you work out if your child is displaying my ’18 Signs for Potty Training Readiness’ – The Potty Queen x

A: 

  1. Are you using less nappies each day?
  2. Is your child beginning to understand or need some element of privacy around toileting: are they going somewhere quiet, such as a corner of the room for a poop?
  3. Is your child beginning to understand the order of things: before, during and after?
  4. Can your child point to their body parts with/without their name?
  5. Is your child occasionally waking up from a nap and their nappy is still dry?
  6. Can your little one remember some parts of nursery rhymes, ABC song, repeat phrases or stories?
  7. Can your child follow an instruction such as “go and get the green ball”?
  8. Does your child know how to flush the toilet? Wash hands?
  9. Has your child started to take some interest in you going to the toilet?
  10. Does your child have some key words for toileting such as poop or pee?
  11. Has your child begun to take some ownership of getting dressed or pulling pants down?
  12. Has your child started saying: “let me do it” or “my turn”?
  13. Has your child started having some frustrations or tantrums?
  14. Does your child tell you they are doing or have done a pee or a poop?
  15. Is your child walking confidently? Can balance well?
  16. Does your child ask for a nappy change if they are wet or dirty?
  17. Does your child do a little dance, sway, wriggle, go quiet when toileting?
  18. Does your child find ways to let you know they want or need something?

A: Hi mummy, I am delighted to hear you are discussing poop and wee wee, this will help to desensitize toileting if they are described with a little element of fun. Please understand this is all new for your daughter and to expect progress, and not perfection. I work with families very often who have done their best, however the approach they have taken has left the child quite confused. We then need to undo the behaviours learnt and start the little one off on a fresh potty start. Potty training is basically learning and practice. I would be delighted to support you with getting things off to a confident start – The Potty Queen x

A: Hi, I understand! It’s very common for potty training to start well, nd then for it to lose its way. I would return to the approach you started with – consistency is key. I work with lots of families by providing a brief Zoom video call to help get things back on track, and then sometimes I work with families who need to go for a reset and start fresh. Being bottom naked can be a great place to start, however it’s important that children do connect with their new underwear lifestyle quite quickly. Please get in touch if you find yourself with lots of accidents. I could probably help you quite quickly, especially as you are having some poo poo success. Well done! – The Potty Queen x

A: Oh Mummy, I hear you. This is very common. I very rarely use rewards and treats with potty training as unfortunately the novelty wears off quite quickly and we find ourselves back at the beginning. I passionately approach each child with a bespoke approach that I decide upon with the parents after they have completed my “Pottinaire” – an in-depth questionnaire, which helps me to understand how to create a motivation within the child, a structure and a very clear plan for the families to follow. My best quick tip is: please don’t ask, children will usually say no and then what will you do? It’s best to confidently state: “It’s potty time!”. I coach parents on what to say and how to say it, and this does help. I also stay in touch over WhatsApp; coaching every step of the way. Keep going. Please get in touch if this persists, I would be delighted to share with you a few little tricks and hacks that might help – The Potty Queen x

A: I know this scenario very well. Consistency is key and clear messages are even more vital. If we say: “Yes darling, you can have your nappy back,” what message are we giving? I understand it feels tricky to know what to do. Potty training is new and so many families feel unsure what to say and do. I love helping families feel confident that they are doing the right thing, this support seems to make such a difference. Keep going: be clear and consistent. I’m cheering for you! – The Potty Queen x

A: Oh darling, I know this problem very well, and it’s something I deal with every week with families. You are not alone. You did the best you could. To be honest, this could easily be solved over a couple of weeks with a specially designed ‘poop program’ – a few hacks, tricks and changes in language and behaviour I could help you with. However, in the short term I would suggest saying to your little boy that you have faith in him; that you know he will be able to overcome this very soon. It must feel rather horrid for both of you. The challenge with poo is children don’t like the sensation of it coming away from their bodies. When they are in a nappy they poop and it stays close to the body, and they feel snug and secure. However, we need to help him overcome this. – The Potty Queen x

Principal Lisa, The Potty Queen, offers bespoke family support services covering Potty Training, Weaning, Sleep Training, Routines, Behaviour and overall Parent Support and Coaching. Sessions start from a 30-minute video call through to longer term programmes and home visits. For more information, visit Thepottyqueen.me.